I visited on Christmas Eve with a woman I met several years ago and whom I see only very rarely - often less than once a year.  Yet, whenever we are getting together, I find myself intensely excited about the prospect of seeing her.  This time, being contemplative as the year was winding to a close, I decided to try to understand what makes it "so special to be with Rhona." 

I arrived at our friend's house for the party that Rhona was scheduled to attend.  The house already had about 15-20 people in it, and I was far away from the front door, when a ripple of sound washed through the guests and all eyes turned to watch Rhona enter the room.  I wasn't alone in my expectations! 

Rhona is attractive.  She takes excellent care of herself, and never leaves home with anything out of place.  She has money, so she dresses very well, always smells nice, and has a more than bubbly personality.  She also knows how to make an entrance.  But, I've met others who could be described this way.  So, what is it about Rhona?

Rhona turned from person to person - air kissing in  true British fashion.  With each person, she took their hands in her own and said something that caused them to smile, some almost bashfully.  She did the same when she got to my husband Tony and me, leaving us both feeling warm and cheered.  I watched her all evening, and talked with her again at several points.  And as I watched, I finally came to understand what makes Rhona so different and why everyone who knows her looks forward so eagerly to being with her. 

Rhona is interested in everyone - honestly and specifically.  She asks after you, your friends and family - by name.  She uses your name when she speaks to you.  She wants to know what has been going on in your life - and she wants to understand what it means to you.  She follows up on her last conversation with you - even if it was a year ago – without missing a beat.  And she does this all in a way that is genuine, not gratuitous.  When she walks away, the lovely smell of her cologne isn't something you notice because of its probable cost, but something that lingers behind her leaving a warm glow that complements your feeling of importance in her life.  And she does all this totally naturally - I've never seen her have a strained moment, and I'm now certain that she has little idea of the significance of the effect she has on others, but rather enjoys what she sees as an endless world of interesting people, with unique lives, that she truly cares about.

I realized that Rhona's behaviors epitomize leadership.  Rhona is a reminder that charisma has more to do with how one relates to others than it does with anything else.   My New Year's Resolution is to be more like Rhona.  I won't have the money for the cologne, I won't be able to keep up my physique and face the way she does, but I know I can do better remembering people for who they are; taking time out of my inward focus to ask after and understand my friend’s and colleagues’ lives, loves and challenges.  I don't think I'll ever be able to achieve the carefree talent that Rhona has for this.  But I do hope that, if I can be more like Rhona, that I too can bring some of the joy and caring that she spreads around her to the world of my colleagues, friends and family.

Happy New Year - and may the joy and blessings of our very wonderful world fill you with great expectations for the year ahead.