You’ve met the person of your dreams. You wish to live through the good, the bad and the ugly with them. You are committed to supporting and being supported by your partner through anything thrown your way. That’s fine, but how do you ensure the relationship stays strong? How do you avoid becoming one of the 50% of all couples that eventually end in divorce? You are going to be living with this person for the rest of your life. You both love one another but what can you do to ensure the relationship is not only contented but strong?
A basic tenet of a strong relationship is to develop and maintain a positive environment. Happy, contented couples routinely reinforce and support one another. They appreciate one another’s accomplishments. Open and routine communication is important. You may recognize and appreciate your partner’s actions but it is critical you communicate that to them. Be respectful as you would to a stranger. Once we get to know someone intimately some of the traits we exhibited early in the relationship sometimes drift away. For example, opening the door for a lady, complementing your partner on their appearance, doing a favor without the other person requesting it are all "little" things that in total are not so little.
There has been extensive research in what makes couples drift apart or eventually separate. The findings from this research can be used by couples to strengthen their relationship. Michele Weiner-Davis is a renowned relationship expert. Her bestselling book, Divorce Busting: A Step by Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again, outlines steps that can be taken to keep the relationship strong. Try her Relationship IQ Quiz to learn common misperceptions about relationships that may be very enlightening as you work with your mate on your own issues. Go to www.divorcebusting.com/a_relationship_iq_quiz.htm You would be surprised at the answers!
The Gottman Institute is devoted to providing training to mental health professionals and relationship therapists. Co-founded by Drs. John and Julie Schwartz Gottman, they provide "leading edge research on marriage [with] practical down-to-earth therapy". A book they have co-authored, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, provides ten lessons in how to make relationships more productive and fulfilling. They conclude from their research that they can predict with 90% confidence whether a marriage will succeed or fail. Their book helps couples evolve from a failing marriage to one that is successful. You can also take their relationship quiz at www.gottman.com/marriage/relationship_quiz to learn more about the strength of your relationship.
For more information, go to:
www.divorcebusting.com
www.gottman.com
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