There she is. You’ve seen her in the grocery store before. She is attractive, always alone. There is no ring on the all important finger on her left hand. There have been instances where you have said hello to one another. You sense there is a mutual attraction. But what should you do next to delve further? How do you do it without being too obvious or appearing like a bumbling fool? Guys have it tough but the mating game typically requires the guy to make the first move. All women want to be chased, to be sought after. You have to make the move. What do you say?

As simple as it sounds, a simple, "hello" is a great way to start. Combine it with a smile and a look of genuine interest and you are assured to have her attention. If she is interested, she will respond in kind. You have her attention and your interest is recognized. Most guys think they need to have something cute or decisive to say. Most women just want you to be you. Above all, don’t create high expectations for yourself. If this lady is someone you see at the local coffee shop, grocery store or similar place the two of you frequent, don’t forget there will likely be other opportunities. In other words, don’t expect to get her phone number the first time. If all the two of you do is exchange courteous greetings, consider it a success. Small steps lead to big accomplishments.

Women are great on picking up on verbal and nonverbal cues. If she responds, follow her lead. If not, make a comment to elicit a response. Try to avoid a question. For example, comment that you wished the store you are both in would carry a favorite item of yours. If she is truly interested, she will respond with a comment upon which to build a conversation. Approach it as if you are simply being cordial with a stranger, although your motives are to learn more about her.

It doesn’t hurt to practice. Initiate conversation with ladies of all ages in a variety of venues. That way when the time comes to approach the woman of your dreams you won’t feel as nervous. Practice your conversation skills. Rejection is part of the pursuit. Learn what methods and techniques work with other women you just wish to be friendly to and then when the time arrives to impress that special lady, your techniques will be well developed.

Here are some simple points for any good conversationalist. Above all it is important to listen, listen, and listen. Conversation is two way. Don’t consume the conversation. Genuinely listen to what she is saying and continue the conversation building upon her points or topics of interest. It is also critical to keep eye contact. Women like it when you look them in the eye. It stands to reason that anyone who is supposedly listening to someone that continually shifts their eyes to other activities in the surrounding area is not truly engaged.

You have to gauge how the initial conversation goes but if you sense some chemistry and that the two of you are connecting, she will likely be flattered if you open up to her and reveal (be honest) that you’ve seen her around and have always had an interest in learning more about her. There is always a balance between being too pushy and making it clear that your interest is more than casual. If you end the conversation with something as simple as "I hope to see you again sometime", that is probably not going to earn you any points. There may not be a next time for quite some time. As the pursuer, you have to specifically express how you would like to see her again. She is going to think that if there was true interest in getting to know her, you should suggest getting together for a drink, a walk in the park, etc…. Don’t fear the rejection. If she rejects you out of hand, maybe she isn’t the one for you. Even if she provides a polite but plausible answer as to why she cannot get together, perhaps she truly has something going on that she needs to address (such as a boyfriend) before showing her interest in you. If that happens, and you coincidentally meet again and she initiates the conversation, you just might be on to someone special.

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