To successfully pursue meeting someone online, it is essential that some basic guidelines be followed. Dating is never easy. There is always trepidation, nervousness, expectations and yet at the same time excitement with the prospect of meeting someone new and interesting. The value of meeting someone in person is just that, seeing them up close and personal. This allows you to gauge their demeanor, attitude, physical appearance and determine if there is chemistry. In today’s hectic world, finding the time to meet someone can be difficult. Meeting someone online can help to "narrow down the field" without spending a large amount of time and money.
Regardless of what type of dating or social site you use, there are some basic tenets that should be followed to not only protect yourself but also to ensure your pursuit will be successful. The convenience of meeting someone online cannot be overstated. What we lose in close personal contact we can gain in efficiency by having the ability to contact someone instantly and anonymously. If you are searching for someone on a site such as ErosOver40.com or any other personals site, there are always a few tips you should follow.
Take Your Time Before You Select a Site
There are a ton of sites available. Be selective in the site you choose. There are sites that cater to a wide range of interests. Consider your goals and what you are truly looking for; a partner for life, a friend, a companion for outdoor adventure, someone to explore an alternative lifestyle with. Be focused rather than simply putting profiles on a wide variety of sites. Cost is one consideration. Some sites allow a profile to be posted for free. Many allow a free profile but require payment to contact other members. These fees are wide-ranging. There are usually discounts for long-term memberships. Also think about the content of the site other than just meeting someone. Is there useful lifestyle information? Take your time. Don’t jump in. Only choose a site that has a privacy policy. You want to make sure you are protected. This is vital. The value of online dating is the wide range of contacts you can make. At the same time, this exposes you to a wide range of different individuals that unfortunately are always looking for opportunities to exploit people. Be safe.
Be Honest and Candid in Your Profile
When you are viewing profiles online, you are looking for as much information as you can to determine if you want to invest the time and emotional energy in building a relationship with that person. If you want individuals to contact you, make sure you have a complete profile posted. The more information you feel comfortable about sharing, the better. That is the beauty of this being anonymous. Nobody is going to criticize you to your face. There are no embarrassments. You need to weed-put those that you know are not going to be of interest to you. Be specific and if need be, be blunt. Once someone contacts you, it is important they know your goals and objectives. Make it clear in your profile. Don’t be mundane in your ad/profile. For example stating, "SWF, 40 seeks partner" sounds just like every other personals ad. Provide some humor or insight into your personality.
At the same time that candor and honesty is needed, don’t provide too much information. Under absolutely no circumstances should you provide your full name, phone number, address or other sensitive information that reveals your true identity in your profile. If you meet someone that you develop an online relationship with and feel comfortable, this sharing of information can come later but don’t place it in your profile. Use a nickname or profile name unique to you but not specific to whom you are.
Trust but Verify
Even if you have developed a rapport with someone, people are much more likely to be less than honest if they are corresponding with you online versus talking to you face to face. Remember, most experts state that the words exchanged with someone represent only about 10-20% of communication. The majority of communication is often non-verbal or the tone and attitude with which the words are spoken. If you read a profile that is too good to be true, be a little leery. You may very well meet the person of your dreams online but take your time. Ask questions. If you don’t feel comfortable, it probably isn’t right. Keep in mind some people like to perpetuate certain fantasies….that can be part of the fun. Just be aware of this as you try to determine just what that other person is like on the other end of your email. If they give you a name, do a search on them. It can be amazing what you may find out.
Do More than Just Email
Don’t rely only on email to learn about someone. Personals sites that have a wide variety of features are your best bet. Take advantage of being able to post photos, provide a voice introduction or video introduction. Video chat technology and webcams provide a great way to see just who is behind those messages you are reading. You will definitely receive many more contacts from folks if you post a photo. Again, some people are concerned about their pictures circulating on the internet. But the fact is you stand a much better chance hooking-up with someone if they can see if there is some physical attraction. A few sites, such as ErosOver40.com, offer private photos. You can develop a private photo album that is password protected. You provide the password to only those you want to. You can also change the password as many times as you like. At ErosOver40.com, this feature is included in the basic membership.
Before you meet someone, you should talk on the telephone. Email or instant messaging is great but hearing a person’s voice and experiencing how they handle a conversation are important. Do they listen well? Is this the same person you think you know via email? If they are reluctant to provide their phone number, perhaps that is a sign. Provide a cell phone number first before giving out your home number or work number. You can develop a better sense of someone’s social skills by a direct conversation, even if it is not fact to face.
Meet in a Public Venue
You’ve exchanged emails, perhaps chatted on the phone and now the crucial moment comes where you have both agreed to meet in person. It is still important to have a healthy sense of skepticism. Not that you don’t want to be optimistic but you still need to protect yourself. If you do agree to meet, do it in a public place. Tell a friend or family member where you are going and when. Don’t have someone pick you up at your home or office. Set a pre-arranged location and time to meet. Even after meeting and you feel you’ve made a good connection; don’t let that person follow you home if this was not agreed to.
If you are interested in meeting senior singles, go to www.ErosOver40.com, an online senior singles dating site.
