The first move has been made and you are now proceeding to the first date. This is the time of exploration. The opportunity to learn more about the other person to see if there is a second date in the future, or something even more. At this point there is some level of attraction for both parties. Be it physical, emotional, or just general curiosity. First impressions have been made. Now it is time to make a positive lasting second impression.

What to say? What to talk about? It might help to focus on what not to talk about. When two people have an initial attraction and are pursuing whether there is something to build upon to create a relationship, both parties need to approach a first date and the subjects to be discussed with mutual respect. It sounds simple. Stay away from controversy. Don‘t ask about past lovers. Men especially should avoid this topic. If she brings it up, be careful but be honest. This is usually a topic best left for subsequent dates. If a first date leads to a second, third or fourth date, people feel more relaxed and more trusting to broach such subjects. An open conversation about past lovers, spouses, or significant others and what worked or didn’t work in those relationships will be a window to the other’s past. It will be a guide to how likely the potential is for growth in the current relationship.

Here is another suggestion. Don’t dominate the conversation. Men have a tendency to want to impress. Quite often they try too hard. Women want and respect a man that listens. It is good to be expressive, open and honest. But you have to allow the other person the opportunity to speak. After all that is what a conversation is; two-way communication!! Whether you are male or female, what we all yearn for in a conversation is to be heard.

Now that you have an idea of what not to do, here are some suggestions of how to have a productive conversation.

· Focus on your partner, not so much on what you want to say. Listen to what they say and take the conversation from there.

· Be inquisitive but don’t grill them. It isn’t an interview. Show interest in who they are, what defines them as a person. In the process, you will reveal what you are like and what defines you. Asking follow-up questions to what they stated is a sign of true interest.

· Focus on topics that excite the other person. Build upon what they have already expressed.

· Look in their eyes. Ever try to talk to someone who is doesn’t maintain eye contact? It is very nerve wracking isn’t it? Especially if someone is not looking at you in your eyes as you are talking.

· It’s good to be humorous but don’t be cocky or sarcastic.

· As much as you want to learn about their family, former loves, job history and their life goals, keep it light. That can come later. It is good to ask the basics but the details will come out later. Unless the conversation goes in this direction, they necessarily don’t want to hear about your political views.

· Be alert to things going on around you. If your date is to a movie, talk about the types of movies you like. If you dining out on your first date, talk about how you like the restaurant or other places you like to dine.

· Focus on things you like to do in your spare time. Enough about the heavy stuff like family and the job. Find commonality and build upon it.

· In the end, you want the person to feel as though (and admittedly you like to feel also) the other individual has genuine interest in them.

· Be positive. Negativity brings everyone down.

· Smile. Be courteous.

· If it is true and you wish to continue with seeing this person, tell them how much you enjoyed the date. Don’t assume they know you had a good time. We all like to hear that someone enjoyed our company. Tell them you want to see them again.

Your goal is to secure a second date. That is assuming what you learn about the other individual intrigues you to the point you want to build upon the relationship. Both partners generally get a sense halfway through the date if there is enough interest for meeting again. As you leave, tell the other partner, especially if you are they guy, you will be in touch. And follow through on it…….

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To converse and meet senior singles, go to www.ErosOver40.com, a senior singles dating website.